tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39905333682160276342024-02-21T07:14:18.494+00:00KidlariousMy two kids say kidlarious things.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger373125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-84926114286288130282023-04-09T15:50:00.000+00:002023-04-09T15:50:11.723+00:00Bird peas<p>Me: So we talked about some animals that we eat being mammals earlier. What about other things that we eat. Like peas, what are they?</p><p>Emelia: Birds?</p><p>Me: No. Peas are not birds. They're plants.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-64025752272071602272020-08-03T17:20:00.001+00:002020-08-03T17:20:14.653+00:00Pet spider Emelia: I have a pet.<div>Nanny: Do you? What kind?</div><div>Emelia: A pet spider. </div><div>Nanny: Oh, what's your spider's name?</div><div>Emelia: Go Away Please</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-60243143265473314552020-02-03T18:15:00.001+00:002020-02-03T18:16:11.417+00:00Cold soreMom: Eva, can you get me the coleslaw out of the fridge, please? <div><br></div><div>Eva: It's weird that it has the same name as that gross thing you get on your lips.</div><div><br></div><div>Mom: Eva, that's a cold sore, not coleslaw.</div><div><br></div><div>Eva: Dad, you're gonna put that on Kidlarious aren't you?</div><div><br></div><div>Dad: Yep. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-73693655376429571652019-12-23T18:32:00.001+00:002019-12-23T18:32:47.364+00:00Adopted Emelia: All grown ups start off as children.<div>Me: Do they? </div><div>Emelia: And before that, they're babies in their mommy's tummy. </div><div>Me: Wow, so you were in your mommy's tummy? </div><div>Emelia: I was adopted. </div><div>Me: Whoa, that's news to me! </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-9223026749701981462019-12-14T07:53:00.001+00:002019-12-14T07:53:18.151+00:00Slippy the reindeerListening to Xmas songs. Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer comes on.<div><br></div><div>Wend: Emelia, do you know the names of all the reindeer? </div><div><br></div><div>Emelia: Yeah, "Slippy". </div><div><br></div><div>Wend: There's no reindeer named "Slippy"! </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-84786992278837400542019-12-14T07:51:00.001+00:002019-12-14T07:51:08.810+00:00Chlamydia Eva: This chicken is still a bit pink inside. Does that mean I'll get chlamydia?<div><br></div><div>Tom: What? I think you mean salmonella.</div><div><br></div><div>Eva: Oh ya. But can chickens get chlamydia? </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-14400396284455892562019-11-16T20:10:00.000+00:002019-11-16T20:11:54.198+00:00HairMe: Emelia, you know how it takes so long to wash and brush your long hair? Wouldn't it be better if we just shaved it all off?<br />
<br />
Emelia: No way. If you shaved my hair, I'd be sad for 200 million years.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-2604896830267958192019-09-07T18:07:00.003+00:002019-11-16T20:12:11.940+00:00RocketEmelia: Look at the rocket.<br />
Eva: It's not a rocket. It's an airplane.<br />
Emelia: Then why's it going to the moon?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-64570628361160657142019-09-07T18:06:00.002+00:002019-09-07T18:06:48.349+00:00School trouble Emelia: Hope you don't get in trouble at skool. I ever don't.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-8345196395767829172019-09-07T18:05:00.003+00:002019-09-07T18:05:59.676+00:00Giraffe furAt the homeware store with Emelia (5 years old)<br />
<br />
Me: Oh, that's a nice rug, what do you think it's made from?<br />
Emelia: Giraffe fur.<br />
Me: Um, I think it's sheep skin.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-51476472231241920072019-07-15T20:48:00.001+00:002019-07-15T20:48:20.457+00:00Belly aching My niece Leighton: I've got a headache.<br />
My sister in law: And where's your headache?<br />
Leighton: In my belly.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-23761540060370814112018-07-01T16:35:00.002+00:002018-07-01T16:35:29.793+00:00Granddad killed JesusWe're walking past a cemetery.<br />
<br />
Me: Emelia, do you know what these stones are for? They are where people who've died are buried.<br />
Nanny: A lot of them mention Jesus.<br />
Emelia: Yeah, my granddad killed Jesus.<br />
Me: Hmmm, I'm not sure that's true.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-14676043562199429282018-07-01T16:32:00.001+00:002018-07-01T16:32:35.317+00:00So sore you'll dieEmelia: Look I've got a blister. Nanny is getting me a plaster.<br />
Me: Oh no, will a plaster help?<br />
Emelia: Yes, because if you don't have a plaster, it will get sorer and sorer and then you could die.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-4045210852608988072018-06-23T17:55:00.000+00:002018-06-23T17:55:06.437+00:00Mormous dinosaurMe: Emelia, did you see a dinosaur at the museum?<br />
Emelia: Yes, it was mormous.<br />
Me: That big eh?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-18072419023489670822018-05-12T08:39:00.001+00:002018-05-12T08:39:33.118+00:00Tom: I'm coughing a bit. I might have turbulosis.<br />
Dad: Uh, it's tuberculosis.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-47944128686401559542018-04-11T08:12:00.002+00:002018-04-11T08:12:48.224+00:00Cool nameTom proudly announced at dinner that when he's older, he wants to change his name to Anakin, because it sounds cooler.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-42018789630596520772018-04-03T18:02:00.000+00:002019-12-21T07:53:28.643+00:00Sheep VaselineTom: Look, here's a picture of me pretending to kiss a sheep.<br>
Mom: Oh yes.<br>
Tom: I wish I'd had Vaseline.<br>
Dad: You were kissing a sheep and you wanted Vaseline?<br>
Tom: Yeah, my lips were so dry.<br>
Dad: ***laughs out loud***<br>
Tom: What?<br>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-27397339441437100282018-03-18T12:32:00.002+00:002018-03-18T12:32:57.136+00:00TaxiTom: I think I want to be a taxidermatologist.<br />
Dad: You mean a taxidermist.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-36146946293406885172018-02-15T21:49:00.000+00:002018-02-15T21:49:41.877+00:00Curdle*Watching Olympic curling*<br />
<br />
Tom: Is the thing they throw called the "curdle"?<br />
Dad: Uh, no.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-6470758573607454492018-01-19T08:01:00.003+00:002018-01-19T08:01:46.813+00:00You're hotTom: Your body is pretty warm isn't it?<br />
Dad: Yes, it's about 37 degrees.<br />
Tom: That's pretty hot. But the sun's hotter.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-46837560359909338272018-01-19T08:00:00.000+00:002018-02-09T14:15:22.424+00:00SparklyEva: When I grow up, I want to be a cleaner.<br />
Mom: You never want to clean your own bedroom, why would you want to clean other people's homes?<br />
Eva: I want them to be sparkly.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-16731265683423740952018-01-13T19:31:00.000+00:002018-01-13T19:31:32.439+00:00Killer instinctEva: In jail, are prisoners allowed to kill each other?<br />
Mom: No, no one is allowed to kill anyone, ever.<br />
Eva: But they do in Guardians of the Galaxy.<br />
Mom: That's a science fiction movie. It's not real.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-76597826462458137092017-08-30T21:22:00.002+00:002017-08-30T21:22:53.235+00:00ContractionWe're watching a PG13 gross-out comedy when one of the male characters gets sexually excited.<br />
<br />
Eva: Haha, that's hilarious, he's got a contraction!<br />
Tom: A contraction? Haha, that's not what it's called.<br />
Mom: Eva, it's called an erection.<br />
Eva: Tom, stop laughing.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-54498747230860997862017-07-28T19:02:00.000+00:002017-07-28T19:02:09.336+00:00Death due to oldnessEva: How old were you when your Nan died?<br />
Mom: Oh, around 12 I think.<br />
Eva: Did your Nan just die of oldness?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3990533368216027634.post-5035111149284485852017-07-23T19:24:00.001+00:002017-07-23T19:24:47.251+00:00Like a virginEva: Mom, my teacher is a virgin.<br />
Mom: Your teacher told you she's a virgin?<br />
Eva: Yeah, she doesn't eat meat.<br />
Mom: You mean a vegan. Not a virgin!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0