Death talking

Tom: There's someone at school who talks funny.
Dad: Lots of people have different voices and they might sound funny.
Eva: Yeah, like dead people.
Dad: Eva, I think you mean deaf people. Dead people don't talk at all.

Laundry sugar

I'm putting clothes in the washing machine.

Eva: Can I help?
Dad: Uh, okay.  Can you put the clothes in?
Eva: Can I also put the sugar in?
Dad: That's washing powder Eva, not sugar.

Musical brothers

We're listening to music.

Dad: Tom, this is your Uncle's favourite singer, Alan Jackson.
Tom: Oh, is he Michael Jackson's brother.
Dad: Uh, no.

Gin is its own food group

Dad: Look everyone, I got presents.
Eva: Yay, what did you get us?
Dad: Well, a bottle of wine for mommy. A case of Budweiser for Tom and a bottle of gin for you Eva.
Eva: I don't eat gin.

Don't lie about brushing teeth

Dad: Eva, did you brush your teeth?
Eva: Yes.
Dad: I don't believe you.
Eva: I just said I did.
Dad: I don't believe you.  You often lie.
Eva: Yeah, but I don't lie about brushing my teeth.

Don't waste your blood

Mom's going out for a bit.

Eva: Mom, where are you going?
Mom: I'm going to the blood donor clinic to give blood.
Eva: Why?
Mom: Because sometimes other people get hurt and need my blood.
Eva: I don't think you should waste your blood like that.

Chicken fish

We're eating supper.

Tom: Dad, what kind of fish is this?

Dad: It's chicken.