Friday 28 April 2017

Getting laid

*Watching music videos*
Me: Oh my, Hanson is back. Look at all those chicks in the background. They're definitely getting laid.
Eva: What does that mean?
Me: Uh, it means they'll get kissed by all the girls.

Crispy pig

Eva: This fried chicken is like that crispy pig thing.
Dad: You mean pork scratchings...not crispy pig things.
Eva: Oh ya.

Wood cutting guy

Tom: Dad, why do you dress in plaid? You look like one of those wood cutting guys.
Me: You mean a lumberjack?
Tom: Oh ya.

Thursday 6 April 2017


Watching an advert that features a shiny dildo.

Tom: Wow, that looks like a really big shotgun bullet!
Dad: Uh, it's not a bullet.