Me: Emelia, do you know what these stones are for? They are where people who've died are buried.
Nanny: A lot of them mention Jesus.
Emelia: Yeah, my granddad killed Jesus.
Me: Hmmm, I'm not sure that's true.
Tom: Look, here's a picture of me pretending to kiss a sheep.
Mom: Oh yes.
Tom: I wish I'd had Vaseline.
Dad: You were kissing a sheep and you wanted Vaseline?
Tom: Yeah, my lips were so dry.
Dad: ***laughs out loud***
Eva: In jail, are prisoners allowed to kill each other?
Mom: No, no one is allowed to kill anyone, ever.
Eva: But they do in Guardians of the Galaxy.
Mom: That's a science fiction movie. It's not real.