Eckilepsy

Tom: Dad, do you know that King Tut had eckilepsy?
Dad:  No I didn't. But don't you mean epilepsy?

Men and women. Different races?

Tom:  “A kid was racist to me at school.
Dad:  “Racist?  Really?
Tom:  “Yeah, he said "Hey, woman" to me.”
Dad:  “Tom, that's not racist.”

The "U" is silent.

Tom: Dad, there are two ways to spell favourite.  F A V O U R I T E is the correct way.  F A V O R I T E is another way, but that's slang.

He's kind of right, it's American.  It's all slang over there isn't it?

A season named Sue. How do you do?

*Kids are singing a song about spring*

Eva: The days are getting longer, a new Susan is here!
Tom: It's a new season Eva, not Susan.  Susan is a person.

I want to ride my BICYCLE.

Mom: Kids, if a bicycle has two wheels, what do you call one with only one wheel?
Eva: A bice.....?
Tom:  No Eva!  It's a unicycle.

Eva logic: Half the wheels, must be a word half the length, right?

Tap, tap, tap

*While out for a walk, we hear tap, tap, tap on a nearby tree*

Tom: Ooh, mom listen.  It's a woodcocker!
Mom: Tom, it's a woodpecker.
Tom: Oh ya.  Mom, don't put this on Facebook.

Okay son, Mom won't.  But Dad will put it on the blog...then share it to Facebook.

Moist chicken

Tom: Can chickens fly?
Eva: Yes Tom, with their chicken wings.
Mom: No, they can't really fly.
Tom: Well, why have wings then?
Zac (big brother): Penguins have wings and they don't fly, they swim.
Tom: Chickens can swim?

Dad would not be a good teacher

Tom: In class, we were talking and the teacher asked us if we were something. But I can't remember the word. Mom do you know?
Mom: No Tom, I wasn't there.
Dad: If I was her and you were disrupting my class, I'd call you all morons!
Tom: If you did that you'd get fired.

Mary had a little dog

Walking to school this morning with the dog. Mom will bring the kids into school, I'll walk the dog home.

 Eva: I wish the dog could come to class with us.

We're all good at different things.

Contrast the kids' priorities:

Eva: Just asked if she could go on X-Factor in her bra and pants (underwear).
Tom: Just asked how he should add 45 and 54, because he doesn't have enough fingers.

I thought kids were I.T. savvy?

Tom:  “Dad, can I go on Google on Internetical Explorer?”