Cevarian

Eva: Do you know anyone who's had a cevarian?
Dad: What?
Eva: Where the mom's belly is cut.
Dad: Eva, it's called a cesarean.

Black lung

*Mom has made a model of a lung with a plastic bottle and some balloons*

Tom: Wow mom, you’re an artist.
Eva: Your lungs are pink.  But when you smoke, they go black.

Chicken pops

Eva: Dad, when I was younger, I was sick wasn't I?
Dad: Were you?
Eva: Yeah, I had chicken pops.
Dad: Pox Eva. It's pronounced chicken pox.

Better out than in

*While at the dinner table*

Eva: Mom, if you're allergic to good, you can either sick it out, or poo it out.

Mom: Better to sick it out I think.

Kaboom, you're dead from heart attack.

Eva:  Mom, will it be bonfire night on Nan's birthday?  Cuz if it is, she'll be scared, cuz she's old.

It's like pulling nails.

Eva: Tom, look at my gammy nail.  But it's okay, because it will grow out.
Tom: Dad, if you pull out your nail, will an adult nail grow in its place?
Dad: No Tom, nails are not like teeth.

Smoking is bad, chicken pox, not so much

Tom: If you smoke, do your lungs get black?
Mom: Yes Tom, they do.
Tom: If they get too black, do you die?
Mom: Yes Tom.
Eva: If you have red spots, it means you have chicken pops.  But you won't die.

Physically, physically, physically fit.

Eva: Dad, I'm walking fast so I excise.
Dad: Excise means to cut something out. It's exercise.

If I should die.

Tom: Mom, if we die at the same time, I want to be a mummy wrapped up and buried with you.
Mom: What about Eva?
Tom: She can be buried with dad. Because they have the same eyebrows.

I'm not dead.

Eva: Is you great uncle dead?
Mom: Yes Eva.
Eva: My great uncle is a bit.
Mom: A bit what?
Eva: A bit dead. 

Reminds me of Monty Python.

No pain, no gain

Eva: If you don't want to exercise you can jog instead.

Welcome to Deadland.

Tom: You can live to infinity. Because when you die you live in the ground forever... in Deadland.
Nice.  Personally, I'd rather go to Heaven.

Calling it "taking a poo" is so un P.C.

Heard lots of messing behind a closed washroom door. So I look in and see Eva taking a poo... But messing with the rad and everything else she can reach:

Dad: Eva, what are you doing?
Eva: Havin' a toilet.

This is Eva-speak for taking a poo. Must be the flowery language the school makes them use.