Dog hands

Eva: Tom, I closed your bedroom door so the dog wouldn't go in.  But he might be able to open it with his dog hands.

Watch where you point your testicles

Eva: Mom, look I made a caterpillar out of these balloons. (Puts her hands to her forehead) And these are his testicles.

Mom: Eva, I think you mean, tentacles.

You're both wrong, dad knows they're actually called antennae.

Moist chicken

Tom: Can chickens fly?
Eva: Yes Tom, with their chicken wings.
Mom: No, they can't really fly.
Tom: Well, why have wings then?
Zac (big brother): Penguins have wings and they don't fly, they swim.
Tom: Chickens can swim?

Alvin, Simon, Theodore.

*Eva is describing my hamster dance birthday card to grandma on the phone*

Eva: It plays music, and on the front there's a picture of a chick-mump.
Dad:  It's chipmunk Eva, not chick-mump.