Turkeys vs. Chickens

Mom:  “How can you tell the difference between a turkey and a chicken?”
Tom:  “A turkey has eye brows...”

Rhyming slang

Eva:  “I want a sheep dog.  And a sheep cat.  And a sheep rat.  Sheep and rat rhyme.

What belly buttons do

Eva:  “I know why I have a belly button.  Because I was attached to mommy's belly.  I was in the middle and next to something gooey.”

No kissing

Tom:  “I don't want to get married because I'd have to kiss the girl at the wedding and that would be embarrassing.  I'd just want to get it over with.”

Was that sex?

*While watching the movie, The Duchess, during a 'suggestive' bit*

Eva:  “Did they just have sex?”
Mom:  “Eva, that's not a nice thing to say.”
Dad:  “Eva, you don't even know what having sex is.”
Eva:  “Yes I do. It's when grown ups take off their clothes and say 'Mmmm’ ”

Babies are waiting

Eva:  “Do I already have babies sat waiting in my tummy.”
Tom:  “No, Eva. You have eggs sat waiting....and I have testicles sat waiting.”

Where babies come from

Tom:  “Mom, what's the stuff in your testicles that makes babies?”
Mom:  “It's called sperm.”
Tom:  “Oh. I thought it was called sperth.”

Old age

Eva:  “Mom, you're older than dad so you'll be an old granny before he is. “
Dad:  “Eva, I will never be a granny. “
Mom:  “Eva, when I'm a granny, daddy will be a granddad too. “
Eva:  “And mom will die first.  But dad will die two days later. Then you'll be together...in the ground

Can't have enough trampolines

Eva:  "Can I have a trampoline for my birthday? Then we'll have two and Tommy and I won't have to fight over our one trampoline. "

Hair insulation

*In the cold weather this morning:

Eva: "Dad, you don't get cold cuz you're hairy.  The dog doesn't get cold cuz he's REALLY hairy. "

Watching a TV show where one of the characters can shrink.

Dad: Do you think someone could really shrink like that?
Eva: No, only clothes can shrink.

Sausage dog

Watching TV.

Eva: Look Dad, there's a sausage dog.
Dad: Why are they called that?  Are they made of sausages?
Eva: No, that's just the shape they are.
Dad: Okay, so what ARE dogs made of?
Eva: They're made of dog material.

Revenge of the Dinosoids

Watching the film, Jurassic Park

Eva: Oh no, they'd better run away from the dinosoids.

God shaped

We're walking the dog.

Eva: Dad, did you know God's in all of us?
Dad: Is he?
Eva: Yes. (She points to the dog) He's even in pets.
Dad: Oh?
Eva: Only then, he's pet-shaped.

Most famous reindeer of all

It's Christmas time.

Eva: Do you know which one is my favourite reindeer? Rudolph.
Mom: Oh ya?
Eva: And my next favourites are Prancer and Cupid.
Mom: I see.
Eva: And my less favourite is Tinkerbell.
Mom: Tinkerbell isn't a reindeer Eva.

Cuddle bears

Eva: Mom, what are them things that cuddle trees?
Mom: What.
Eva: You know, the bears from Australia?
Mom: Koala bears?
Eva: Yeah.

A bug's life

Tom: Dad, where are all the bugs in the winter.
Dad: Lots of them find places to sleep during the winter.  But many of them just die.
Tom: Why do they die?
Dad: Because bugs don't live very long.  Some live weeks, others only for days.
Tom: Well that's not fair.
Dad: That's life.

Jesus was a foreigner

Dad: Eva, where was Jesus born?
Eva: In a cot?
Dad: Where was the cot?
Eva: In a manger.
Dad: But where was the manger?
Eva: In Bethlehem.
Dad: And where is Bethlehem?
Eva: It's in a different country.  Most things are in a different country.

Christmas Socking

Unpacking the Christmas decorations

Eva: Dad, can we hang my Christmas socking?
Dad: It's a stocking Eva

Death talking

Tom: There's someone at school who talks funny.
Dad: Lots of people have different voices and they might sound funny.
Eva: Yeah, like dead people.
Dad: Eva, I think you mean deaf people. Dead people don't talk at all.